#045
She said, “I want to go back to Beijing to find my boyfriend.” I asked, “What’s the third option?” She was stunned.
她说“想回北京找她男朋友”，我问“第三个选择呢？”她愣住了。
酒吧角落里，几个研究生围坐。她端着酒杯，一脸的烦。
“徐老师，我男朋友在北京，我在香港念书。我好想回去跟他一起生活。”
我没接她“要不要回去”这话。
“这决定不容易，”我看着她的眼睛，“你在纠结‘去’还是‘留’。第三个选择呢？”
她愣了一下，放下了酒杯。
“我好想他……”
她开始自己在那盘算。暑假回去？毕业再回？让他来香港？每说一个，自己又给否了。
来回好几趟。
“所以，”我问，“你决定怎么着？”
她没吭声。
过了一会儿，抬起头，语气变了：“我留在香港。”
不是无奈，是挺笃定的。
我没问她为什么。她自己想通的。我只说了句恭喜。
如果你也在‘二选一’里纠结得不行 ，与我联系。一起找到问题的根。你的时间与精力，应该花在高回报的目标上。
(案例已脱敏，经本人同意分享)
徐敏聪
成果教练 ｜为赢而练
我帮创始人及CEO先赢，再长。
In a quiet corner of the bar, a few graduate students were sitting together. She held her wine glass, looking frustrated.
“Coach Xu, my boyfriend is in Beijing, and I’m studying in Hong Kong. I really want to go back and live with him.”
I didn’t directly address whether she should go back.
“This isn’t an easy decision,” I said, looking into her eyes. “You’re stuck between ‘go’ or ‘stay’. What’s the third option?”
She paused and put down her wine glass.
“I miss him so much…”
She started thinking out loud ... go back during summer break? Go back after graduation? Ask him to come to Hong Kong? Every option she suggested, she immediately rejected herself.
After going back and forth several times, I asked, “So, what have you decided?”
She stayed silent.
A moment later, she looked up, her tone completely changed: “I’m staying in Hong Kong.”
It wasn’t out of resignation; it was with conviction.
I didn’t ask her why. She had figured it out herself. I simply said, “Congratulations.”
If you’re also stuck in a painful “either-or” dilemma, feel free to reach out. Let’s find the root cause together. Your time and energy deserve to be spent on high-return goals.
(Case desensitized and shared with the client’s consent)
David Tsui
Result Coach | Coached To WIN
Helping founders and CEOs WIN, then GROW
